"The thing that concerns me is not will God let us find Him, but will we seek Him?" -Richard Owen Roberts


If you have never been to http://www.ellerslie.com/, go now!

I have typed this blog out too many times.  I would always write and then save, never post. Words just never seemed to be able to accurately express this experience we had in Swaziland. Well, I found some words today. They were written by a leader of mine who I have the PRIVILAGE to experience this with. She has some words... good ones! So here they are. Here is the story of Tabani.

"Some people think God doesn't move anymore.

Some think God doesn't speak today.

Some think the Gifts of the Spirit have ceased.

Some think that miracles don't don't happen anymore.

If this is you, this blog might upset you.

Meet Tabani. He used to be mute. Today, He speaks. He enjoys worshiping Jesus at the top of his lungs. He had a condition where his tongue was too big for his mouth, and where his tongue was abnormally shaped...basically his tongue just didn't work right. That resulted in him having trouble containing his saliva to inside his mouth. You could usually find him covered in drool from his nose to his belly button by noontime everyday. On cold Swazi afternoons he would be shivering because his drool had saturated his clothes. 

His Mother works across the street from Timbutini carepoint at the Saloon (African hair salon, or a wooden box where you can get your weave done). His little sister is the craziest and funniest little girl. One second she is a little angel singing, "My God is SO BIG, SO STRONG, AND SO MIGHTY. There is nothing my God cannot do FOR YOU" and then pokes you surprisingly hard in the chest. Then the next moment she is making a crazy face yelling, "MASA MASA MASA!!!" If you can't see how that is freaky, try it yourself.

The Timbutini care point is run by the Bomagi, or Mamas. These are lovely women who spend their days cooking food over the fire for hundreds of Swazi children. They don't get paid for this. Last year a Real Life team was at this same care point and they talked to the Bomagi about Tabani. The team told the women how Tabani could speak...they just needed to believe he could, and love him. But, unfortunately they were stuck in a Swazi mindset and didn't want anything to do with him. Tabani wasn't healed...then.

A year later, our Swaziland Ambassador Team arrives on the spot. On one of the first days of ministry at Timbutini care point, God put it on some of our people's heart to pray for Tabani to be healed. After 30 minutes of praying over him, Tabani laughs. Outloud. This has never happened before. Later in the day he proceeds to say, "YEBO!!!" (Yebo is yes in siswati)

Over the weeks we spent at that care point we saw Tabani grow. The other children started playing with him. When we would play with him and lay him on his back, he wouldn't choke on his spit anymore. I watched him dance around the Sunday School building wearing a broken fireman hat screaming, "HALLELUJAH!!!" for hours. 

As we were nearing our last day of ministry, a group of 12 or so crowded around Tabani to pray for him some more. As I was praying for him, all I could think about was how Tabani was being pursued. I'm sure I repeatedly said that phrase out loud as I prayed for him. Looking at his beautiful, snotty face all I could see was the look of a child being pursued by his Father. He was in love. He was being loved. He was drowning in the love of the Father. It just radiated out of his face. (If you want an example, take another look at the first picture in this post.)

On our last day of ministry at this care point we had to say our goodbyes. After we gave hundreds of hugs and repeatedly answered children with,  "I have no money" (which was true), we couldn't say goodbye to Tabani. We were starting to go down the dirt path to our homestead and we were still with him. After saying goodbye and speaking truth over him in Siswati, we needed to head home. We turned around to walk away, and we heard a small voice say, "Bubbye!" 

"WHAT?!?!" we all thought to ourselves. We looked behind us to see if it was him, and it was. After rejoicing, we turned to head home. And, again, we heard that same voice say, "BUBBYE!"

Again, he ran into our arms and we rejoiced. 

I'm sure this happened another time, too.

The interesting thing about all of this was that when we turned around to hear him say more, he would stop speaking. Only when we were walking away did we hear him speak. It's like God was saying, "Do you trust me with him? Do you trust that I am a Good Father? Do you trust that I know what I'm doing? Do you trust that I will finish what I started?"

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us." 

1 John 4:7-12 ESV

I've been learning that Jesus is love with skin on. Let me say that again. Jesus is love with skin on. Jesus is a lot of things, but Jesus is love. That's why He came to Earth. That's why He had to leave. His love changes everything. His love brings death to life, literally.  There's nothing that His love can't change. "I can never escape from your spirit! I can never get away from your presence!" (Psalm 139:7 NLT) When Jesus died, "the curtain in the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom" (Mark 15:38). We now have full access to the God's throne.

 "I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father. You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it" (John 14:12-14 NLT). 

So, if Jesus had to leave for us to accomplish greater works than what He did, what are we doing with our lives? In the Early Church, "sick people were brought out into the streets on beds and mats so that Peter's [the apostle] shadow might fall across some of them as he went by (Acts 5:15 NLT). When the sick came to Peter, instead of giving them Advil and a pat on the back, he said, "I have no silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk!" (Acts 3:6 ESV). 

We are called to so much more than the life we are living today.

We are members of an upside down Kingdom...

Where those who are lowest here on Earth are the highest in Heaven.

Where if you cling to your life, you will lose it.

Where those who humble themselves will be exalted.

Where the greatest among you must be a servant.

Where love walks, breathes, speaks and lives.

Remember, Love always wins."

*blog by Cait Evangelista http://caitlynevangelista.myadventures.org/

*video of him when he first started playing and laughing and singing in the blog below this one!

I watch all the three year olds at the day school where I work run and play and laugh. They greet me with big smiles and  bear hugs, running to the door as soon as I walk in.
My heart fills with joy as I remember all the smiles, hugs, kisses, and songs that fill the carepoints in Swaziland.

I was sitting with my mom watching the news. The first story they had for the night was about a woman from Jackson, TN. She apparently had an argument with her mother and, in the process, abandoned her child on a stairway in an apartment complex. She was arrested for child abuse. 
My heart breaks at the thought of all the children who are abandoned daily in Swaziland. In the hospital. on the side of the rode. at carepoints. I mourn over the boy who was murdered by his father just a few days before we left. My heart aches to think that the man who killed his son could still be wandering aroung Timbutini. Anger stirs. Bitterness boils. and then I remember that God has this all under control, and I pray for even more protection over those children.

I am officially home from Swaziland and I am a mess.

Joy overflows at te thought of all the singing and laughing that filled the carepoints and streets of Timbutini.

I think of Tabani, the love of my life, who was once mute but can now sing and laugh and play, by the grace of God! (This video was when he first started talking. The day we left, he looked me in the eyes and said "bye bye bye bye bye!")

My heart breaks as I remember those who were with me the day I was sick at the hospital/clinic. Knowing most of them had HIV, and the rest had some type of mental illness/handicap. Some with both. Some with pnuemonia. Some with bacterial infections from eating or drinking something they shouldn't have, like me. The thought has never left my head. This could have been me. This could have been where I as born. Why have I been given so much grace? Quickly God showed me how much MORE grace He has poored out on them. When I get over myself and set my mind on things that are above, I see that they have just as much grace. Just as much love. And you know what? Maybe even a little bit more.

I think of all the days when I didn't think I could pick up another mud and dirt covered child or play one more game of tag or have my hair pulled straight out of my head for the millionth time. And I think of how crazy I was because seeing those smiles and hearing them giggle and laugh out the words, "Sorry sorry sorry!", whenever they would pull out handfulls of my hair- those are the things I think about the most, that fill me with joy.

I know it has been over played but it's true. He makes beautiful things, He makes beautiful things out of dust. D'un beau affreux. He can transform the life of a sinner and He can make beautiful things out of not-so-beautiful situations. Le laid peut etre beau.

While in Swazi, God showed up and showed off. He poored out His love on the people, He used us to poor out some more love on them, and then He poored out His love on us like a waterfall. He swept me off my feet. He loves us, because He loves us, because He loves us. He never changes. His love never changes. His grace and mercy abound through any situation. His love drives out all fear. It gives courage and security. It never leaves. It brings freedom!

My last and certainly not least grace that He gave me while in Swaziland was the 20 brothers and sisters that He gave me to live with for the month. Their encouragement and love for the people of Swaziland and each other was radiant. I saw the bride of Christ step up to the plate. Their was hardship and pain, but there is something about being vulnerable with one another that brings you closer together. We were able to encourage and admonish one another in love. Pray for one another. Laugh. Sing. Worship. Process life. Make a joyfull noise! If you have never lived in community before and get the chance, do it. Don't hesitate. It will change your life forever.

I love and miss my team.

Of course, my mind goes crazy and I never write what I plan, but here it is. Here is where I am right now. I am so thankful for this incredible opportunity to be able to love and serve in Swaziland. I am still amazed at how God provided- through your prayer, encouragement and finacial support. We saw God move in big ways! Darkness was cast out and Light flooded in. The mute spoke. The sick were healed. He truly does make beautiful things. He makes beautiful things out of dust. He makes beautiful things out of us.

"When I wear the lens of the Word, all the world transfigures into the beauty of Christ an everything is eucharesteo." - Ann Voskamp

LORD, open my eyes that I may see You in everything. Aline my desires with Your's. Make me miserably uncomfortable with living in appathetic selfishness. Fill me up with your love, grace and mercy so that You are the only one recieving glory from this dust in the wind that You have made into a new and abundant life in Christ. 

I should have written this over a week ago, but I honestly didn't know how to express my graditude. Most of the time it came out as a constant smile and random dancing around the house, but I think I can muster up the words now.

As most of you know, the deadline to have all support turned in was last thursday, And with four says left, one thousand dollars was still left to raise.

I doubted.

So you, by the help of your God, return,
    hold fast to love and justice,
   and wait continually for your God."- Hosea 12:6

I worried.

"Cast all your anxieties on Him.." -1 Peter 5:7

Oh and doubted some more...

"Wait for the LORD;
    be strong, and let your heart take courage;
   wait for the LORD!"- Psalm 27:14

I was so consumed with what I needed to do that I couldn't even see right in front of me... where God was providing above and beyond what was needed. His grace is greater, still! Long story short, the night before everything was due, I officially had all of the support needed to follow God's call to Swaziland. Now do you see where the smile and dancing came from? I pray that I would dwell in how He provides! That is true joy. He provides above and beyond everything we could ever need, from our physical daily bread to the true love that we so crave and ignorantly try to find from things of this world. I pray that we will continue to sit in the shadow of  His wings, being romanced day in and day out by His unending love. I'm done looking at the waves, only to Jesus.

"I will cleanse them from all the guilt of their sin against me, and I will forgive all the guilt of their sin and rebellion against Me. And this city shall be to Me a name of joy, a praise and a glory before all the nations of the earth who shall hear of all the good that I do for them. They shall fear and tremble because of all the good and all the prosperity I provide for it." - Jeremiah 33:8-9

  

Thank you is not adequate to show my gradutide for those who have been praying and supporting this endeavor, but thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for helping spread His Kingdom to the nations and storing up your treasures in heaven by supporting our trip. Only five more days!

Only three weeks untill I leave for Swaziland and I feel the farthest thing from ready. But will I truly ever be fully ready? He equipts those He calls, AND I'm human. My faith is being tested, my strength is basically non-existant but praise God that Jesus fills us with His faith and His strength! I'll be honest with you, raising support for this trip is one of the hardest experiences I have ever had in my life. Since March, God has provided $3,888 of the $4,375 that is needed for me to go to Swaziland. This morning, my lack-of-faith and I decided that apparently all the support already raised wasn't enough and that I needed to freak out over the few hundred dollars that are still needed. I can almost hear Jesus say, " Oh you of little faith!" I, regretfully, let fear take over.

I want to be back in Swaziland so much. I want to be ransacked with little children as we walk into the carepoints and orphanages. I want to sing, dance, laugh and tell biblestories with them. I want to help the Gogo's prepare meals for all the kids. I want to go into the hospitals, love on the residents, pray with them, speak truth with them and my teamates. I want to share in their brokenness and tell them that in Jesus, they are chosen, loved, cherished, and priceless. I crave it. But strangely, there in lies my problem. This isn't about me.

This is about the Son of God humbling Himself by coming to earth as a man. Fully God and fully man, He lived a sinless life and followed the will of His Father by being crucified on a cross for the sins of the entire world. Three days later He rose from the grave. Victory over death and victory over sin! The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed! This is about His death and life, and our life in Him! This is about His example. About being salt and light. Loving our enemies. Seeking justice. His Kingdom come. The least of these. Seeking Love. This is about our God and His glory. Not about what people think of me, not even about the people I come to know in Swaziland. This is about Him and His glory. Praise the Lord that He has given me the greatest desire to go where He has called me!

I think of the Israelites in the desert right after crossing the red sea. God provides for them time and time again and what do they do? They complain. And you know what? God always provided. Always. Their fear, complaining and worry was for nothing!

In Christ, fear vanishes. Anxiety is no more. Perfect Love casts out fear, so I will not sit and dwell in what I do not have. I will not fear because fear is not from God. God called me to go to Swaziland and I stepped out in obedience. Lord, help me not be like the Israelites. Your will is Your will. You are faithful. You will provide! 

All support has to be in by next thursday, June, 16th! Walk with me, knees to the earth, over these next few days. Let's watch God provide these last few hundred dollars.

I covet your prayers and if you would like to donate, click the link below! 

www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=partFund&multi=

* I am a part of the Ambassador program!

**Starting THIS thursday, mail in donations will not have time to process before my trip.. only online donation can be made.

29 days. 29 DAYS! Everything seems to be slipping up so fast and the anticipation is killing me! I have been trying so hard to live and the moment, take in all that God has in store for me today...Yes, I am FAILING. I cannot wait to be in Swaziland. I cannot wait to wake up every morning to watch the sun come up over the mountains while children in green and blue school uniforms run this way and that trying to get to school on time. I cannot wait to marvel at the beauty of Swaziland, God's creation. To share encouragement and laugh with the Gogo's, while sewing purses to sell or fixing lunch for 100+ hungry bellies, singing, reading the Word of God, and learning all of there songs and hearing them tell US biblestories. To strengthen my siSwatii and try it out at the local market (secretly praying that they also know english so that they wont think we are COMPLETELY crazy!) To store up treasures in heaven with this team that God has put together for this month long trip. To encourage one another. To encourage others, together. To pour ourselves out for a people who are hurting and without Hope. To go into the hospitals, hospices and homes, praying for them and helping with anything we can. I am honored to be given this opportunity, not only to love on the people of Swaziland, but to make His Name known amoung the nations! Grace. All is grace!

Eucharisteo.

I am so thankful. Thankful for all of your prayers and support. God has called and provided, and used you all in the process! Your prayers are truly felt and conveted. I ask that you continue to be in prayer for us, as we prepare to go and for the people there, that the Holy Spirit would fill us with His boldness, guide us down His paths. 

With joy, I can announce that I only have $1,000 left to raise, with 2 whole weeks left to receive online donations! (4 whole weeks if you send the support to me personally!)

If you would like to donated, here is the information once again!

To mail to me personally:

Chandler Robertson
150 North Ridge Drive
Saltillo, MS 38866

Or for a faster, more efficient way to donate:

http://adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=partFund 

The program I am apart of is the Ambassador program and, of course, my name is Hannah Chandle Robertson.

100% of donations go towards this trip to Swaziland to spread the name of Christ!

All is grace.

"God is not a belief to which you give your assent. God becomes a reality whom you know intimately, meet everyday, one whose strength becomes your strength, whose love, your love. Live this life of the presence of God long enough and when someone asks you, “Do you believe there is a God?” you may find yourself answering, “No, I do not believe there is a God. I know there is a God.”
                                                                                               ~Ernest Boyer, Jr.